01UndatedMy mother is a firm believer in the long pause, useful in interrogations, proclamations of truth, and the occasional cutting dead of someone without their knowing it.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
03UndatedAny way I slice reality it comes out poorly, and I feel an urge to not exist, something I have never felt before; and now here it comes with conviction, almost panic. I mentally bless and exonerate anyone who has kicked a chair out from beneath her or swallowed opium in large chunks. My mind has met their environment, here in the void. I understand perfectly.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
04UndatedI mentally bless and exonerate anyone who has kicked a chair out from beneath her or swallowed opium in large chunks. My mind has met their environment, here in the void. I understand perfectly.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
06UndatedWhy is edamame always ready to expire? It´s so urgent for a vegetable. Edamame. It sounds like an assisted form of suicide. Is there an advertising concept in this?Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
07UndatedI remember one desolate Sunday night, wondering: Is this how I´m going to spend the rest of my life? Marrid to someone who is perpetually distracted and somewhat wistful, as though a marvelous party is going on in the next room, which but for me he could be attending?Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
08UndatedI used to loathe ambivalence now I adore it. Ambivalence is my new best friend.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
09UndatedSo many events and moments that seemed insignificant add up. I remember how for the last Valentine´s Day, N gave flowers but no card. In restaurants, he looked off into the middle distance while my hand would creep across the table to hold his. He would always let go first. I realize I can´t remember his last spontaneous gesture of affection.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
11UndatedThey feel life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever decide to have my soul surgically removed.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
12UndatedSomeday I will have revenge. I know in advance to keep this to myself, and everyone will be happier. I do understand that I am expected to forgive N and his girlfriend in a timely fashion, and move on to a life of vegetarian cooking and difficult yoga positions and self-realization, and make this so much easier and more pleasant for all concerned.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
14UndatedI love you as the mother of my child": the kiss of death.Mother of His Child: demotion. I am beginning to see this truism: Mothers are not always wives. I have been stripped of a piece of self.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
15UndatedHe announces that lately he keeps losing things. "Like your wife and child," I want to say, but don´t. At fourty, I´ve learned not to say everything clever, not to score every point.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
16UndatedHow do you know? How best to ensure his nervous breakdown?" I ask."Keep going," Christian says. "Just go on as if nothing has happened. We all hate that.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
17UndatedGod is great and God is good," Lisa says. "But where are the Apache attack helicopters when you need them?Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
18UndatedTake me now, God!" I shout to the inky sky. "I´m ready.""You´re not ready. You´re not even divorced yet," Bunny says. "You cannot die married to that man.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
19UndatedHow can I grieve what is still in motion?" I ask her. "Shoes are still dropping all over the place. I´m not kidding," I say. "It´s Normandy out there.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
20UndatedI am replete with stamina in finding out every single fact I can about this whole affair.Yet, I think, do I want to pull that thread? Do I want to unleash the truth, unravel deceit, and kill reality as I´ve known it? It is irreparable, if I do, from the moment we met until now. It is long. If I discover too much that is false about what I thought my past was, Time will be skewed even further. I already have a poor connection with the present. Example: I have no sense of what day it is. It´s better.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
21UndatedHow could you do that to me?" I repeat. I don´t have to itemize. He knows what I speak of.Eventually N produces three answers, in thisSuzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
23UndatedI saw my reflection in their eyes, but not the men themselves, not clearly. This preserved the idea that all intelligent and even vaguely attractive men were essentially good. Delusion detest focus and romance provides the veil.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗
24UndatedThe Betty Lady explains love and splitting up: "It´s like playing the shell game with Jesus. You can´t figure anything out; it´s best not to try. You´ll just humiliate yourself.Suzanne Finnamore / quote ↗