01UndatedThe theory of relativity doesn't amount to a hill of beans when there's a bonfire in your shorts.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
02UndatedFair play is all well and good. But knowing how to kick 'em in the balls can get you out of a jam 9 times out of 10.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
03UndatedJust remember this, Missy, escargot ain't nothin' but snails with their noses stuck in the air.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
04UndatedBeauty is only skin deep, but who gives a shit what's under their skin anyway?Lois Greiman / quote ↗
05UndatedChocolate may be cheaper than a psychiatrist, but the latter doesn't generally adhere to your ass for the rest of your natural life.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
07UndatedSome people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
10UndatedLife is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
12UndatedYou're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
13UndatedIf it looks like a cat, walks like a cat, and has whiskers like a cat, it's probably a damn cat. But if it eats your groceries, messes up your kitchen, and makes you want to rip out your hair by the roots, you either married it or gave birth to itLois Greiman / quote ↗
14UndatedEvery morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
15UndatedWhen in doubt, shoot 1st and ask questions later, but avoid the head, "because they'rea lot more likely to answer if they're not dead.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
16UndatedHonesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullenLois Greiman / quote ↗
17UndatedBreaking up is hard to do. But, bustin him in the head ain't that easy, either.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
18UndatedThey say love makes the world go around… I been dizzy for a long time.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
19UndatedSex is all right, but a hot fudge sundae don't never ask if the baby's really his.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
20UndatedI fear that someday you will abandon the joys we share and find another not worthy of your charms.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
