01UndatedMaybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
02UndatedHonest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
03UndatedEven choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
05UndatedIn the beginning God made the seas, the mountains, the heavens, and buffalo knees. He made lilies, and dew drops, and snail shells, and roses, and dippers, and yappers, and snappers, and noses.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
06UndatedHe looked from His heavens and saw it was good, the toes and the crows all looked like they should. The bunny was quick, the finch bright as a daisy, the owl flew at night, and the tortoise was lazy.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
08UndatedMaybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
12UndatedWhat if there's no such thing as PMS, and this is just my personality?Lois Greiman / quote ↗
13UndatedYou don't know many friends you have till you buy a big-ass house on the beach.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
14UndatedYou guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
15UndatedA friend is someone who will bike to the ice cream shop with you, even when you don't look so good.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
18UndatedThe trouble with insanity is it can flare up at the most inconvenient moments.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
19UndatedIf men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
20UndatedI'd love to go out with you, but I'd hate to deprive some village of its idiot.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
21UndatedIf at 1st you don't succeed, stretch out on your La-Z-Boy with a six-pack and a porn flick. Y' still won't succeed, but you sure as hell won't give a shift.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
23UndatedSometimes it's nice to have a man around the house. But a dog will clean the dishes.Lois Greiman / quote ↗
