01UndatedSanta Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things.""But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
02UndatedEveryone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
03UndatedI'm jealous of your hooks," Kevin replied. "Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands."Don't be ridiculous," one of the white-faced women replied. "Having a white face is worse than both of your situations."But you have a white face because you put makeup on," Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. "You're putting powder on your face right now.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
04UndatedTea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged swordKit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events)Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
05Undatedthe table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
08UndatedThese three man," Mimi said, "are suspects in a recent theft. Last night, Polly Partial received a shipment of twenty blueberry pies. This morning she counted them and came up short.""How many are missing?" I asked."Last night she had twenty," Harvey said, shutting the station door, "and today she found zero. So at least eighteen are missing.""At least." I agreed.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
10UndatedThere are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, many types of people, and everybody wants to read something different.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
12UndatedAll his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
13UndatedKlaus sighed, and opened a book, and as at so many other times when the middle Baudelaire child did not want to think about his circumstances, he began to read.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
14UndatedThere are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
15UndatedIs it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty events will occur whether you are frightened or not?Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
16UndatedYou might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
18UndatedI stood in the corridor feeling like an angry pebble. It didn't matter where I rolled off to. The mystery and treachery of the world continued, and a pebble like me could get angry over anything it liked and it wouldn't do any good. Librarians not reading, I thought to myself. Sometimes I don't know why I bother.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
19UndatedWe'll see what you find out," Stew said. "You'll find out what it feels like to be thrown from a speeding train to the rocky bottom of a drained sea. Except you won't really find out, because you'll be dead. Get it? What I mean is, it'll kill you when I throw you from this train so you'll be in no state to find out what it feels like. Get it? Due to your death by falling from a train.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
20UndatedPerhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
21UndatedYou cannot wait for an untroubled world to have an untroubled moment. The terrible phone call, the rainstorm, the sinister knock on the door—they will all come. Soon enough arrive the treacherous villain and the unfair trial and the smoke and the flames of the suspicious fires to burn everything away. In the meantime, it is best to grab what wonderful moments you find lying around.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
22UndatedA good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
23UndatedNo matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
24UndatedGrinning is something you do when you are entertained in some way, such as reading a good book or watching someone you don't care for spill orange soda all over themselves.Lemony Snicket / quote ↗
