02UndatedWhy did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fathers spent a great deal of their first constitutional convention drafting the delaration of independence and only realized on July 3rd the Articles were also due.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
03UndatedAs our larynxes descended, we were able to make sounds with our mouths in new and far more expressive ways. Verbal language soon overtook physical gesturing as the primary means of communication for all human beings except Italians. (Earth (The Book), p. 36)Jon Stewart / quote ↗
04UndatedTo the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!Jon Stewart / quote ↗
05UndatedFree time is death to the anxious, and thank goodness I don't have any of it right now.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
06UndatedAs heirs to a legacy more than two centuries old, it is understandable why present-day Americans would take their own democracy for granted. A president freely chosen from a wide-open field of two men every four years; a Congress with a 99% incumbency rate; a Supreme Court comprised of nine politically appointed judges whose only oversight is the icy scythe of Death -- all these reveal a system fully capable of maintaining itself. But our perfect democracy, which neither needs nor particularly wants voters, is a rarity. It is important to remember there still exist other forms of government in the world today, and that dozens of foreign countries still long for a democracy such as ours to be imposed on them.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
07UndatedI have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and Dick Cheney shot her.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
08UndatedIf your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
09UndatedThose fighting to be included in the ideal of equality are not divisive.Those fighting to keep those people out - are.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
10UndatedRace is there. You're tire of hearing about it? Imagine how fucking exhausting it is living it.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
12UndatedThe bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
13UndatedNewspapers abound, and though they have endured decades of decline in readership and influence, they can still form impressive piles if no one takes them out to the trash.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
15UndatedAnd this, this, is their genius. Conservatives are not looking to make education more rigorous and informative, or science more empirical or verifiable, or voting more representative, or the government more efficient or effective. They just want all those things to reinforce their partisan, ideological, conservative viewpoint.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
16Undated[Hearing] was distinct from listening, which could only be achieved when hearing was combined with giving a shit.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
17UndatedYou just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
19UndatedThe Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
20UndatedOur culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.Jon Stewart / quote ↗
