02UndatedWhy a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
03UndatedThere is one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says 'yes' you know he is crooked.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
06UndatedSince my little daughter is only half Jewish would it be alright if she went into the pool only up to her waist?Groucho Marx / quote ↗
14UndatedOne morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
17UndatedOutside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
18UndatedI must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
19UndatedI'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
23UndatedA child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
24UndatedWell, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
