03UndatedI don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
04UndatedWith the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
05UndatedEven the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
06UndatedBel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
07UndatedPolitics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
08UndatedI think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you've triumphed. Somebody once said it's what you dont see you're interested in, and this is true.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
09UndatedMost young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.)Groucho Marx / quote ↗
10UndatedMan does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
11UndatedOnly one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
13UndatedWhile money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
15UndatedA year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
16UndatedPractically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and doesGroucho Marx / quote ↗
17UndatedEach morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
18UndatedLearn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
19UndatedMarriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?Groucho Marx / quote ↗
22UndatedIt looks as if Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
23UndatedWhen I first came to this country I didn't have a nickel in my pocket - now I have a nickel in my pocket.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
24UndatedI do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.Groucho Marx / quote ↗
