EBErma Bombeck

82 collected words

Erma Bombeck

Life dates: 1927 AD — 1996 AD

Name supplied in the contributor-provided quotation collection. Basic attribution label; identity, lifetime and quotation authenticity have not been independently verified.

▷ Play this voice Search these words ↗Place in time ↗justice time courage knowledge life faith wealth friendship

Quotations and sayings

01c. 1961 AD

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

02c. 1961 AD

I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

03c. 1961 AD

But some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love why some days it's so quiet you don't even know it's there.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

04c. 1961 AD

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

05c. 1961 AD

My mother phones daily to ask "Did you just try to reach me?" When I reply no she adds "So if you're not too busy call me while I'm still alive " . . . and hangs up.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

06c. 1961 AD

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

07c. 1961 AD

There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say "Yes I've got dreams of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it and yep they're still there. These are great dreams but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line to hold them up and say "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

08c. 1961 AD

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

09c. 1961 AD

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

10c. 1961 AD

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

11c. 1961 AD

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

12c. 1961 AD

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

13c. 1961 AD

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

14c. 1961 AD

Never order food in excess of your body weight.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

15c. 1961 AD

Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

16c. 1961 AD

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

17c. 1961 AD

I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

18c. 1961 AD

Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

19c. 1961 AD

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

20c. 1961 AD

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

21c. 1961 AD

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

22c. 1961 AD

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

23c. 1961 AD

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗

24c. 1961 AD

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Erma Bombeck / quote

↗