01UndatedThat's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
03UndatedI hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
04UndatedThe world isn't fair, Calvin.""I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?Bill Watterson / quote ↗
05UndatedI'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
08UndatedFrom now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
09UndatedCalvin: Why are you crying mom?Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
10UndatedHobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hobbes screaming "Aaaaaaaaaaaa", then falls over.] Hobbes: Look, it's just a game. Calvin: I know! You should see me when I lose in real life!Bill Watterson / quote ↗
13UndatedYears from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
14Undated[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble.] Calvin: Ha! I've got a great word and it's on a "Double word score" box! Hobbes: "ZQFMGB" isn't a word! It doesn't even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It's a worm found in New Guinea! Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I'm looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I'll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What's your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
15UndatedThe secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worseBill Watterson / quote ↗
17UndatedLook! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!Bill Watterson / quote ↗
18UndatedYakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
19UndatedTalking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
22UndatedSpecifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
24UndatedHappiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.Bill Watterson / quote ↗
