Handsomely asked, handsomely refused.
Handsomely asked, handsomely refused.
Meaning in plain English
Courtesy in making a request does not oblige someone to accept it. A refusal can be equally courteous, preserving respect without pretending that every reasonable-sounding request can be granted.
Example
A neighbour asks politely to borrow a car; its owner declines just as politely because it is needed that day.
Deeper explanation and when to use it
The repeated handsomely gives both asking and declining a dignified form. A person may put a request clearly and kindly while the recipient has sound reasons to say no. The proverb allows politeness on both sides rather than treating a pleasant approach as a claim on someone else’s time or resources. It can help distinguish the manner of a refusal from its disappointing result. A courteous answer should still be clear enough to prevent false expectations.
When to use it
Use it to discuss a respectful request and an equally clear refusal.
Keep in mind
Courtesy does not erase unequal power or make every refusal fair.
Edsverb editorial interpretation · agent reviewed · 2026-10-05. This explains the saying; it does not establish its historical origin.
- Source
- A Polyglot of Foreign Proverbs (1857)
Printed page 1; French section, paragraph 2; source wording: A beau demandeur, beau refuseur.
Read the original context ↗ - Attribution confidence
- traditional · historical anthology
Preserved as printed; independently unverified. - Historical coordinate
- Undated
No reliable date supplied by the collection. - Rights & edition
- Public domain (United States)
Translations and rights may differ elsewhere.
Provenance and licences ↗