The voices / 21 fragments

Tabitha Suzuma

Dates not recorded

Name supplied in the contributor-provided quotation collection. Basic attribution label; identity, lifetime and quotation authenticity have not been independently verified.

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▷ Play this voice Search within this voice ↗Place in time ↗time knowledge mind life truth justice love happiness

Archive entries

01Undated

I mean, at the end of the day, what the hell does it matter who I end up with if it can't be you?

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

02Undated

At the end of the day it's about how much you can bear, how much you can endure. Being together, we harm nobody; being apart, we extinguish ourselves.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

03Undated

How can something so wrong feel so right?

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

04Undated

As the light begins to intensify, so does my misery, and I wonder how it is possible to hurt so much when nothing is wrong.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

05Undated

I might appear confident and chatty, but I spend most of my time laughing at jokes I don't find funny, saying things I don't really mean - because at the end of the day that's what we're all trying to do: fit in, one way or another, desperately trying to pretend we're all the same.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

06Undated

At what point do you give up - decide enough is enough? There is only one answer really. Never.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

07Undated

But whichever form it took it brought with it, in those moments of bitter anguish, such a desperate surge of hope that it was almost untouchable, and flitted away like a golden butterfly into the bright blue sky - beautiful, unreachable and completely transistent.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

08Undated

The sight of such aching beauty would infuse his soul with pain.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

09Undated

Everything hurts. He can barely lie still. He feels caught. He wants to run, but where? He feels certain he will always remain like this - trapped within his own body, his own mind. The emotional pain is so strong, it becomes physical. He feels it knotting and twisting inside him, ready to crush him, suffocate him. He is losing his grip, he is losing his mind. He thought he had it all back under control, but suddenly nothing makes sense any more. Does anyone else know what it's like to be stuck somewhere between dead and alive? I't s a half-world of incoherent pain where emotions you put on ice start slowly thawing again. A place where everything hurts, where your mind is no longer strong enough to force your feelings back into hibernation.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

10Undated

They say that depression makes you see everything in a negative light. I disagree. It makes you see things for what they are. It makes you take off the fucking rose-tinted glasses and look around and see the world as it really is- cruel, harsh and unfair. It makes you see people in their true colours- stupid, shallow and self-absorbed. All that ridiculous optimism, all that carpe diem and life-is-what-you-make-of-it. Words, jsut empty words in an attempt to give meaning to an existence taht is both doomed and futile.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

11Undated

...and my loneliness, always my loneliness - that airless bubble of despair that is slowing stifling me.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

12Undated

It's always nice being wanted. Even if it's by the wrong person.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

13Undated

Out of the millions and millions of people that inhabit this planet, he is one of the tiny few I can never have.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

14Undated

I am sure that music was never meant to sound this harsh, this painful.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

15Undated

Within the grand scale of things, sitting in a classroom day after day is so utterly meaningless and pointless that it actually makes his chest hurt to think about it.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

16Undated

School is a pile of crap. School has always been a pile of crap – he had just never bothered to think about it until today.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

17Undated

He has little hope that university, when he gets there next year, will be any different. Like right now, all these pupils taking notes as if their life depended on it. All for what? he wants to shout. To get into the top university, so that you can somehow convince yourself you are better than the great unwashed? So that your parents can convince themselves that they are better parents than the great unwashed? So that Mum and Dad’s fourteen-hour days at the office, paying for a fucking private education you never asked for, wasn’t just a pathetic waste of a life?

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

18Undated

They say when you really love someone, you should be willing to set them free. So that is what I am doing. I will step back and you will move on. I will let you go. ... Your happiness means everything to me. I will listen for your voice in the distance. I will look at the moon. I will keep you in my pocket. I will carry your smile with me everywhere, like a warm and comforting glow.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

19Undated

It's always nice being fancied. It's always nice being wanted. Even it it's by the wrong person.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

20Undated

In some indefinable way he felt drawn to her, as if he already knew her, as if they had been close friends, soulmates even, somewhere in a previous existence. Her mere presence seemed to calm his thoughts, saving him from the vicissitudes of his mind. She appeared before him as familiar, a kindred spirit. Perhaps it was something in her face, her eyes. She seemed to know . . . what, exactly, he was not sure. She seemed to understand. Or rather, he had detected in her the capacity to understand.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote

21Undated

I close my eyes and try and shut him out. My fingers don’t want to stay in time. They want to race ahead in fury, plunging into the dense fog of black notes, pulling the music out by its roots, hurling it up out of the piano and into the air.

Tabitha Suzuma / quote