03c. 1955 ADA friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.Steven Wright / quote ↗
04c. 1955 ADI stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.Steven Wright / quote ↗
05c. 1955 ADI put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.Steven Wright / quote ↗
07c. 1955 ADIt doesn’t matter what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.Steven Wright / quote ↗
09c. 1955 ADA lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.Steven Wright / quote ↗
12c. 1955 ADI named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!Steven Wright / quote ↗
13c. 1955 ADIf it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?Steven Wright / quote ↗
14c. 1955 ADLast night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?Steven Wright / quote ↗
19c. 1955 ADIf at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.Steven Wright / quote ↗
21c. 1955 ADWhen I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.Steven Wright / quote ↗
24c. 1955 ADWhen I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.Steven Wright / quote ↗
