01UndatedI believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.Ron White / quote ↗
03UndatedWhen life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!Ron White / quote ↗
05UndatedThere's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup anyway, so I don't know what they're doing.Ron White / quote ↗
06UndatedI think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.Ron White / quote ↗
07UndatedVegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them. Margo and I are proof that you can make this work. It just takes a little effort.Ron White / quote ↗
08UndatedIf you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money.Ron White / quote ↗
09UndatedI begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.Ron White / quote ↗
10UndatedI don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don't do a ton of it.Ron White / quote ↗
11UndatedIf you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn.Ron White / quote ↗
12UndatedOther states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.Ron White / quote ↗
13UndatedThe bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really.Ron White / quote ↗
14UndatedThe way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.Ron White / quote ↗
15UndatedMy biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.Ron White / quote ↗
16UndatedThere were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.Ron White / quote ↗
17UndatedI believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.Ron White / quote ↗
19UndatedAll I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.Ron White / quote ↗
21UndatedI've got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called 'Jayne Mansfield's Car.' I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.Ron White / quote ↗
22UndatedI was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, 'I'm not even a 10th of this man.'Ron White / quote ↗
23UndatedWhen I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.Ron White / quote ↗
