MBMilton Berle

14 collected words

Milton Berle

Dates not recorded

Name supplied in the contributor-provided quotation collection. Basic attribution label; identity, lifetime and quotation authenticity have not been independently verified.

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Quotations and sayings

01Undated

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient

Milton Berle / quote

02Undated

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

Milton Berle / quote

03Undated

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle / quote

04Undated

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Milton Berle / quote

05Undated

I can't tell you his age but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

Milton Berle / quote

06Undated

Committee: A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

Milton Berle / quote

07Undated

I'd like to tell you some jokes now but you'd only laugh.

Milton Berle / quote

08Undated

Sex at eighty-four is terrific especially the one in the winter.

Milton Berle / quote

09Undated

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Milton Berle / quote

10Undated

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Milton Berle / quote

11Undated

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

Milton Berle / quote

12Undated

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Milton Berle / quote

13Undated

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

Milton Berle / quote

14Undated

There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.

Milton Berle / quote