01UndatedGraham Chapman, co-author of the "Parrot Sketch", is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He's kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky. And I guess that we're all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, of such capability for kindness, of such unusual intelligence, should now so suddenly be spirited away at the age of only forty-eight, before he'd achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before he'd had enough fun. Well, I feel that I should say: nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard, I hope he fries. And the reason I feel I should say this is he would never forgive me if I didn't, if I threw away this glorious opportunity to shock you all on his behalf. Anything for him but mindless good taste. (He paused, then claimed that Chapman had whipered in his ear while he was writing the speech):All right, Cleese. You say you're very proud of being the very first person ever to say 'shit' on British television. If this service is really for me, just for starters, I want you to become the first person ever at a British memorial service to say 'fuck'.John Cleese / quote ↗
02UndatedIt's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand. ~ Brian Stimpson, ClockwiseJohn Cleese / quote ↗
03UndatedYou do realize as you grow older that almost nobody knows what they are talking about.John Cleese / quote ↗
05UndatedThe idea that you have to be protected from any kind of uncomfortable emotion is what I absolutely do not subscribe to.John Cleese / quote ↗
06UndatedBecause, as we all know, it’s easier to do trivial things that are urgent than it is to do important things that are not urgent, like thinking. And it’s also easier to do little things we know we can do than to start on big things that we’re not so sure about.John Cleese / quote ↗
07UndatedThis is the extraordinary thing about creativity: If just you keep your mind resting against the subject in a friendly but persistent way, sooner or later you will get a reward from your unconscious.John Cleese / quote ↗
09UndatedOne of our professors described a lecture as 'a mystical process by which the notes on the pad of the lecturer pass on to the pad of the student, without passing through the mind of either'.John Cleese / quote ↗
10UndatedThe problem was that I carried around with me a tendency to feel that other people’s respect for me would vanish if what I did was second rate. And while I accept that this “perfectionism” is likely to stimulate the production of better work, it doesn’t, unfortunately, go hand in hand with a relaxed and happy attitude to life.John Cleese / quote ↗
11UndatedIt seemed as though he had a fundamental belief that the merit of his argument depended on the strength of his feelings about the matter, and since he always felt uncontrollably passionate about everything, then clearly he was always right. This irrational claptrap, coming as it did from a swarthy, excitable, plump Celtic demi-dwarf, struck me not just as thoroughly impertinent but also as a noisy and ignorant attempt to undermine the most basic principles of the Enlightenment.John Cleese / quote ↗
12UndatedBecause, as we all know, it’s easier to do trivial things that are urgent than it is to do important things that are not urgent, like thinking. And it’s also easier to do little things we know we can do than to start on big things that we’re not so sure about.” ― John CleeseJohn Cleese / quote ↗
14UndatedTerry Gilliam has spoken scathingly about my preference for physical comfort. I have come to the conclusion that this is very much his problem.John Cleese / quote ↗
15UndatedThe sad thing about true stupidity is that you can do absolutely nothing about it.John Cleese / quote ↗
16UndatedI find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.John Cleese / quote ↗
17UndatedNow most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That's not enough any more, and I think that is absolutely tragic - and I'm not exaggerating - that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.John Cleese / quote ↗
18UndatedI was always a sports nut but I've lost interest now in whether one bunch of mercenaries in north London is going to beat another bunch of mercenaries from west London.John Cleese / quote ↗
19UndatedI can't tell you how scary it can be walking onto a movie and suddenly joining this family, it's like going to somebody else's Christmas dinner, everyone knows everyone, and you're there and you're not quite sure what you're supposed to be doing.John Cleese / quote ↗
20UndatedIf God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?John Cleese / quote ↗
21UndatedIf I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you more open to my ideas. And if I can persuade you to laugh at the particular point I make, by laughing at it you acknowledge its truth.John Cleese / quote ↗
22UndatedMichael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one?John Cleese / quote ↗
23UndatedI was very sad to hear of the death of Ronnie Barker, who was such a warm, friendly and encouraging presence to have when I started in television. He was also a great comic actor to learn from.John Cleese / quote ↗
24UndatedYou don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.John Cleese / quote ↗
