JSJerry Seinfeld

31 collected words

Jerry Seinfeld

Dates not recorded

Name supplied in the contributor-provided quotation collection. Basic attribution label; identity, lifetime and quotation authenticity have not been independently verified.

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Quotations and sayings

01Undated

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Jerry Seinfeld / quote

02Undated

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Jerry Seinfeld / quote

03Undated

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.

Jerry Seinfeld / quote

04Undated

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

Jerry Seinfeld / quote

05Undated

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.

Jerry Seinfeld / quote

06Undated

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Jerry Seinfeld / quote

07Undated

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

Jerry Seinfeld / quote