03UndatedLove is scary: it changes it can go away. That's the part of the risk. I don't want to be scared anymore.Jenny Han / quote ↗
04UndatedThat's when I finally got it. I finally understood. It wasn't the thought that counted. It was the actual execution that mattered, the showing up for somebody. The intent behind it wasn't enough. Not for me. Not anymore. It wasn't enough to know that deep down, he loved me. You had to actually say it to somebody, show them you cared. And he just didn't. Not enough.Jenny Han / quote ↗
05UndatedHe came up and kissed me on my forehead, and before he stepped away, I closed my eyes and tried hard to memorize this moment. I wanted to remember him exactly as he was right then, how his arms looked brown against his white shirt, the way his hair was cut a little too short in the front. Even the bruise, there because of me.Then he was gone.Just for that moment, the thought that I might never see him again… it felt worse than death. I wanted torun after him. Tell him anything, everything. Just don’t go. Please just never go. Please just always be near me, so I can at least see you.Because it felt final. I always believed that we would find our way back to each other every time. That no matter what, we would be connected—by our history, by this house. But this time, this last time, it felt final. Like I would never see him again, or that when I did, it would be different, there would be a mountain between us.I knew it in my bones. That this time was it. I had finally made my choice, and so had he. He let me go. I was relieved, which I expected. What I didn’t expect was to feel so much grief.Jenny Han / quote ↗
06UndatedWould you rather live one perfect day over and over or live your life with no perfect days but just decent ones?Jenny Han / quote ↗
07UndatedWe stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing. But it was the kind of nothing that meant everything. In his eyes, there was no trace of what had happened between us earlier and I could feel something inside me break.So that was that. We were finally, finally over.I looked at him, and I felt so sad, because this thought occurred to me: 'I will never look at you the same way again. I'll never be that girl again. The girl who comes running back every time you push her away, the girl who loves you anyway.'I couldn’t even be mad at him, because this was who he was. This was who he’dalways been. He’d never lied about that. He gave and then he took away. I felt it in the pit of my stomach, the familiar ache, that lost, regretful feeling only he could give me. I never wanted to feel it again. Never, ever.Maybe this was why I came, so I could really know. So I could say good-bye.I looked at him, and I thought, 'If I was very brave or very honest, I would tell him.'I would say it, so he would know it and I would know it, and I could never take it back. But I wasn’t that brave or honest, so all I did was look at him. And I think he knew anyway.'I release you. I evict you from my heart. Because if I don't do it now, I never will.'I was the one to look away first.Jenny Han / quote ↗
08UndatedI say, “In the contract we said we wouldn’t break each other’s hearts. What if we do it again?” Fiercely he says, “What if we do? If we’re so guarded, it’s not going to be anything. Let’s do it fucking for real, Lara Jean. Let’s go all in. No more contract. No more safety net. You can break my heart. Do whatever you want with it.Jenny Han / quote ↗
09UndatedSometimes it’s like people are a million times more beautiful to you in your mind. It’s like you see them through a special lens — but maybe if it’s how you see them,that’s how they really are. It’s like the whole tree falling in the forest thing.Jenny Han / quote ↗
11UndatedSmirking, he says, "Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn't work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.Jenny Han / quote ↗
12UndatedI delete the picture of him from my phone; I delete his number. I think that if I just delete him enough, it will be like none of it ever happened and my heart won't hurt so badlyJenny Han / quote ↗
14UndatedI love Jere more than anybody. He’s my brother, my family. I hate myself for doing this. But when I see you two together, I hate him too.” His voice broke.“Don’t marry him. Don’t be with him. Be with me.Jenny Han / quote ↗
15UndatedThere hadn’t been one specific moment. It was like gradualy waking up. You go from being asleep to the space between dreaming and awake and then into consciousness. It’s a slow process, but when you’re awake, there’s no mistaking it. There was no mistaking that it had been love.Jenny Han / quote ↗
16UndatedIt’s hard to throw away history. It was like you were throwing away a part of yourself.Jenny Han / quote ↗
17UndatedWhen boy likes you, you say no thank you. You don't kick him on the ground.Jenny Han / quote ↗
18UndatedDo you think there's a difference? Between belonging with and belonging to?Jenny Han / quote ↗
20UndatedKitty's always saying how origin stories are important.At college, when people ask us how we met, how will we answer them? The short story is, we grew up together. But that's more Josh's and my story. High school sweet-hearts? That's Peter and Gen's story. So what's ours, then?I suppose I'll say it all started with a love letter.Jenny Han / quote ↗
21UndatedIt's a known fact, that in life, you can't have everyhing. In my heart, I knew that I loved them both as much as it is possible to love two people at the same time. Conrad and I were linked, we would always be linked. That wasn't something I could do away with. And I know that now--that love isn't something you can erase--no matter how hard you try.Jenny Han / quote ↗
22UndatedIt will get easier each time, I think. I hope. I just have to keep trying.Jenny Han / quote ↗
23UndatedSusannah continued. "If and when I go off slow dancing in the ever after, I don't want to look like I've been stuck in a hospital room my whole life. I at least want to be tan.Jenny Han / quote ↗
24UndatedHow was I supposed to know what’s real and what’s not? It feels like I’m the only one who doesn’t know the difference.Jenny Han / quote ↗
