01UndatedEvery normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
03UndatedYou can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
04UndatedThe older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
05UndatedAn idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
06UndatedDemocracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
07UndatedIn the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public office of trust or profit in the Republic. But I do not repine, for I am a subject of it only by force of arms.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
08UndatedWe must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
09UndatedExplanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a well-known solution to every human problem—neat, plausible, and wrong.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
10UndatedTruth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
11UndatedFaith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
12UndatedIt is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities. The theologians, taking one with another, are adept logicians, but every now and then they have to resort to sophistries so obvious that their whole case takes on an air of the ridiculous. Even the most logical religion starts out with patently false assumptions. It is often argued in support of this or that one that men are so devoted to it that they are willing to die for it. That, of course, is as silly as the Santa Claus proof. Other men are just as devoted to manifestly false religions, and just as willing to die for them. Every theologian spends a large part of his time and energy trying to prove that religions for which multitudes of honest men have fought and died are false, wicked, and against God.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
13UndatedA philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
14UndatedIt is the natural tendency of the ignorant to believe what is not true. In order to overcome that tendency it is not sufficient to exhibit the true; it is also necessary to expose and denounce the false. To admit that the false has any standing in court, that it ought to be handled gently because millions of morons cherish it and thousands of quacks make their livings propagating it—to admit this, as the more fatuous of the reconcilers of science and religion inevitably do, is to abandon a just cause to its enemies, cravenly and without excuse.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
15UndatedIf we assume that man actually does resemble God, then we are forced into the impossible theory that God is a coward, an idiot and a bounder.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
16UndatedWe are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
18UndatedNo matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
19UndatedIf, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
20UndatedYou never push a noun against a verb without trying to blow up something.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
21UndatedThere is in writing the constant joy of sudden discovery, of happy accident.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
22UndatedThe trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
23UndatedOne of the most irrational of all the conventions of modern society is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected. …[This] convention protects them, and so they proceed with their blather unwhipped and almost unmolested, to the great damage of common sense and common decency. that they should have this immunity is an outrage. There is nothing in religious ideas, as a class, to lift them above other ideas. On the contrary, they are always dubious and often quite silly. Nor is there any visible intellectual dignity in theologians. Few of them know anything that is worth knowing, and not many of them are even honest.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗
24UndatedTheology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.H.L. Mencken / quote ↗