01UndatedThe world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is just turning around as usual.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
02UndatedStories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
03UndatedTh' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
04UndatedTh' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf.Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure.But th' shelf is th' main thing.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
05UndatedMany a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
06UndatedI see gr-reat changes takin' place ivry day but no change at all ivry fifty years.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
07UndatedYou can lead a man up to the university but you can't make him think.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
08UndatedIt is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off fr'm th' angels.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
09UndatedNo matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not the Supreme Court follows the election returns.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
10UndatedAn appeal is when ye ask wan court to show its contempt for another court.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
11UndatedWhat is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
12UndatedA man's idee in a card game is war- crool devastatin' and pitiless. A lady's idee iv it is a combynation iv larceny embezzlement an' burglary.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
14UndatedOpportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
15UndatedWhin a man gets to be my age he ducks political meetin's an' reads th' papers an' weighs th' ividence an' th' argymints - pro-argymints an' con-argymints an' makes up his mind ca'mly an' votes th' Dimmycratic Ticket.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
16UndatedThe time is comin' whin not more thin hath iv us'll be rale an' th' rest'll be rubber (plastic!)Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
17UndatedA firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief but they run away fr'm doubt.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
18UndatedTh' prisidincy is th' highest office in th' gift iv th people. Th' vice-prisidincy is th' next highest an' the lowest. It isn't a crime exactly. Ye can't be sint to jail f r it but it's a kind iv a disgrace.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
19UndatedVice goes a long way tow'rd makin' life bearable. A little vice now an' thin is relished by th' best iv men.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
20UndatedMost vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
21UndatedThe past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
22UndatedThe only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.Finley Peter Dunne / quote ↗
