The voices / 100 fragments

Eoin Colfer

Dates not recorded

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Archive entries

01Undated

She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.-Artemis Fowl

Eoin Colfer / quote

02Undated

Young love is common, but that doesn't mean it's not precious.

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03Undated

How do I love thee? wondered Orion. "Let me see. I love thee passionately and eternally...obviously eternally-that goes without saying." Holly blinked sweat from her eyes. "Is he serious?" she called over her shoulder to Foaly. "Oh, absolutely," said the centaur "If he asks you to look for birthmarks, say no immediately." "Oh, I would never." Orion assured her. "Ladies don't look for birthmarks; that is work for jolly fellows like the Goodly Beast and myself. Ladies, like Miss Short, do enough by simply existing. They exude beauty, and that is enough." "I am not exuding anything." said Holly, through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. "I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins." Holly gripped the wheel tightly. "I'm going to be sick. Did he just say pastel blue?" "And dolphins, little ones," said Foaly.

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04Undated

Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?"All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.

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05Undated

how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant.Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.

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06Undated

They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame.

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07Undated

I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?

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08Undated

So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?""That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney.""Oh, really?""O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel between friends?""Very good. You should be on the stage.""It's funny you should mention that."The passport officer groaned. Ten more minutes and his shift would have been over. "I was being sarcastic, actually

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09Undated

Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.

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10Undated

Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.

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11Undated

this was business.

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12Undated

Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?”“Cheese made by dwarfs.”“Oh,” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually . . .”“No. What a horrible thought.”“Exactly.

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13Undated

Naturally, we lunatics are the kindest of the bunch.

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14Undated

Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts.

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15Undated

Tonight, history was going to be made. And it wasn't the discovery-of-radium, first-man-on-the-moon happy kind of history. It was the Spanish-Inquisition, here-comes-the-Hindenburg bad kind of history.

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16Undated

No one's ever really ready for a troll.

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17Undated

... even one centimetre can make an awful lot of difference when you don't have many to spare.

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18Undated

The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting.

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19Undated

The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.

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20Undated

Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.

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21Undated

Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right.

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22Undated

Ambition had a price, and that price was friendship.

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23Undated

Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.

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24Undated

Who or what inspires you?""I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.

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