01UndatedMenThey hail you as their morning starBecause you are the way you are.If you return the sentiment,They'll try to make you different;And once they have you, safe and sound,They want to change you all around.Your moods and ways they put a curse on;They'd make of you another person.They cannot let you go your gait;They influence and educate.They'd alter all that they admired.They make me sick, they make me tired.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
02UndatedThree be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
04UndatedThe two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
05UndatedIf all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
08UndatedBe you wise and never sad,You will get your lovely lad.Never serious be, nor true,And your wish will come to you--And if that makes you happy, kid,You'll be the first it ever did.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
09UndatedWhy is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
10UndatedAnd there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
11UndatedIf I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
12UndatedBut I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
13UndatedIf you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
14UndatedThe TriflerDeath's the lover that I'd be taking;Wild and fickle and fierce is he.Small's his care if my heart be breaking-Gay young Death would have none of me.Hear them clack of my haste to greet him!No one other my mouth had kissed.I had dressed me in silk to meet him-False young Death would not hold the tryst.Slow's the blood that was quick and stormy,Smooth and cold is the bridal bed;I must wait till he whistles for me-Proud young Death would not turn his head.I must wait till my breast is wilted.I must wait till my back is bowed,I must rock in the corner, jilted-Death went galloping down the road.Gone's my heart with a trifling rover.Fine he was in the game he played-Kissed, and promised, and threw me over,And rode away with a prettier maid.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
15UndatedIt costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
16UndatedMy love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
17UndatedLittle WordsWhen you are gone, there is nor bloom nor leaf,Nor singing sea at night, nor silver birds;And I can only stare, and shape my griefIn little words.I cannot conjure loveliness, to drownThe bitter woe that racks my cords apart.The weary pen that sets my sorrow downFeeds at my heart.There is no mercy in the shifting year,No beauty wraps me tenderly about.I turn to little words- so you, my dear,Can spell them out.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
19UndatedThere's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
22UndatedPrince or commoner, tenor or bass,Painter or plumber or never-do-well,Do me a favor and shut your face -Poets alone should kiss and tell.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
23UndatedI don't know," she said. "We used to squabble a lot when we were going together and then engaged and everything, but I thought everything would be so different as soon as you were married. And now I feel so sort of strange and everything. I feel so sort of alone.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
24UndatedI like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.Dorothy Parker / quote ↗
