COConan O'Brien

18 collected words

Conan O'Brien

Dates not recorded

Name supplied in the contributor-provided quotation collection. Basic attribution label; identity, lifetime and quotation authenticity have not been independently verified.

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Quotations and sayings

01Undated

When all else fails, there's always delusion.

Conan O'Brien / quote

02Undated

It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.

Conan O'Brien / quote

03Undated

Applaud my idiocy.

Conan O'Brien / quote

04Undated

All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

Conan O'Brien / quote

05Undated

A study in the Washington Post says that women havebetter verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.

Conan O'Brien / quote

06Undated

There is nothing more liberating than having your worst fear realized.

Conan O'Brien / quote

07Undated

Music and comedy are so linked. The rhythm of comedy is connected to the rhythm of music. They’re both about creating tension and knowing when to let it go. I’m always surprised when somebody funny is not musical.

Conan O'Brien / quote

08Undated

Thirty-five things have to go wrong for the best thing to happen in your career

Conan O'Brien / quote

09Undated

The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.'

Conan O'Brien / quote

10Undated

The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army.

Conan O'Brien / quote

11Undated

Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me.

Conan O'Brien / quote

12Undated

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Conan O'Brien / quote

13Undated

Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.

Conan O'Brien / quote

14Undated

President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003.

Conan O'Brien / quote

15Undated

According to a new survey, 40 percent of adults in Mexico say they would move to the United States if they got a chance. The number would have been higher, but the other 60 percent already live here.

Conan O'Brien / quote

16Undated

There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.

Conan O'Brien / quote

17Undated

The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.

Conan O'Brien / quote

18Undated

Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen.

Conan O'Brien / quote