quote · Legacy record
We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.
We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.
Approximate author period: c. 1977 AD · modern
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- Author or tradition
- Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Attribution: attributed - Country attributed
- Not established
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- Approximate author period: c. 1977 AD · modern
Approximate author-period anchor from documented birth year 1977; activity date not established; Wikidata Q230141, https://www.wikidata.org/wiki/Q230141 (accessed 2026-10-08). Not a quotation composition date.
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Supplied reference C; CSV row 149799; supplied attribution, independently unverified
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