quote · Legacy record
I think we can all agree that feeling shame is an incredibly painful experience. What we often don't realize is that perpetrating shame is equally as painful, and no one does that with the precision of a partner or a parent. These are the people who know us the best and who bear witness to our vulnerabilities and fears. Thankfully, we can apologize for shaming someone we love, but the truth is that those shaming comments leave marks. And shaming someone we love around vulnerability is the most serious of all security breaches. Even if we apologize, we've done serious damage because we've demonstrated our willingness to use sacred information as a weapon.
I think we can all agree that feeling shame is an incredibly painful experience. What we often don't realize is that perpetrating shame is equally as painful, and no one does that with the precision of a partner or a parent. These are the people who know us the best and who bear witness to our vulnerabilities and fears. Thankfully, we can apologize for shaming someone we love, but the truth is that those shaming comments leave marks. And shaming someone we love around vulnerability is the most serious of all security breaches. Even if we apologize, we've done serious damage because we've demonstrated our willingness to use sacred information as a weapon.
Approximate author period: c. 1965 AD · modern
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- Author or tradition
- Brené Brown
Attribution: attributed - Country attributed
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- Approximate author period: c. 1965 AD · modern
Approximate author-period anchor from documented birth year 1965; activity date not established; Wikidata Q4961808, https://www.wikidata.org/wiki/Q4961808 (accessed 2026-10-08). Not a quotation composition date.
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Supplied reference C; CSV row 113290; supplied attribution, independently unverified
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