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You can't love until you love yourself.

You can't love until you love yourself.
Traditional · Unknown culture

Meaning in plain English

The saying makes self-love a prerequisite for loving someone else. A qualified reading encourages self-respect, while its cannot claim is too absolute to serve as a rule.

Example

Someone considers their own needs alongside those of a partner rather than dismissing the affection they already share.

Deeper explanation and when to use it

Until presents care for oneself as a gate that must be passed before any care for others is possible. A useful application can ask whether someone’s own needs are being neglected in a relationship. It should not deny the love a person already gives while struggling with self-worth, or suggest they must reach a perfect state before forming connections.

When to use it

Use it to encourage self-respect without making it a test of eligibility for love.

Keep in mind

Difficulty with self-worth does not establish an inability to love others.

Edsverb editorial interpretation · agent reviewed · 2026-10-05. This explains the saying; it does not establish its historical origin.

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Source
Contributor-provided proverb reference
Supplied reference A; unit 20; PDF page 7
Reuse and collection notes ↗
Attribution confidence
traditional · supplied collection
Preserved as printed; independently unverified.
Historical coordinate
Undated
No reliable date supplied by the collection.
Rights & edition
Contributor-confirmed reuse permission
Translations and rights may differ elsewhere.
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