The collection / 56 fragments

The living archive

Passages, proverbs, and questions carried across the ages.

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01c. 1959 AD

Never floss with a stranger.

Joan Rivers / quote

02c. 1959 AD

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

Joan Rivers / quote

03c. 1959 AD

I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.

Joan Rivers / quote

04c. 1959 AD

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

Joan Rivers / quote

05c. 1959 AD

I had a friend who was a plastic surgeon, so he would do little things. I never had, like, a full thing. So I would go in maybe once every two or three years, and he'd do a little here, a little there; tweak you, like you tweak your car. Then I became the plastic surgery poster girl.

Joan Rivers / quote

06c. 1959 AD

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Joan Rivers / quote

07c. 1959 AD

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

Joan Rivers / quote

08c. 1959 AD

I truly think comedy is - being funny is DNA. My dad was a doctor, a wonderful doctor, and people still come up to me today, 'Your father helped my mother die.' You know what I'm saying? He made her laugh 'til she died. My father was always very funny.

Joan Rivers / quote