The collection / 94 fragments

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Passages, proverbs, and questions carried across the ages.

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94 results · Page 4 of 4Play this collection ▷

01c. 1947 AD

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

Dave Barry / quote

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02c. 1947 AD

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

Dave Barry / quote

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03c. 1947 AD

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Dave Barry / quote

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04c. 1947 AD

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

Dave Barry / quote

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05c. 1947 AD

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.

Dave Barry / quote

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06c. 1947 AD

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

Dave Barry / quote

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07c. 1947 AD

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Dave Barry / quote

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08c. 1947 AD

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.

Dave Barry / quote

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09c. 1947 AD

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.

Dave Barry / quote

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10c. 1947 AD

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.

Dave Barry / quote

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11c. 1947 AD

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.

Dave Barry / quote

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12c. 1947 AD

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

Dave Barry / quote

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13c. 1947 AD

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

Dave Barry / quote

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14c. 1947 AD

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

Dave Barry / quote

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15c. 1947 AD

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

Dave Barry / quote

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16c. 1947 AD

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Dave Barry / quote

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17c. 1947 AD

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.

Dave Barry / quote

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18c. 1947 AD

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.

Dave Barry / quote

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19c. 1947 AD

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

Dave Barry / quote

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20c. 1947 AD

I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

Dave Barry / quote

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21c. 1947 AD

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

Dave Barry / quote

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22c. 1947 AD

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Dave Barry / quote

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