01c. 1981 ADHe said to people: you’re free. And they said hooray, and then he showed them what freedom costs and they called him a tyrant and, as soon as he’d been betrayed, they milled around a bit like barn-bred chickens who’ve seen the big world outside for the first time, and then they went back into the warm and shut the door...Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
02c. 1981 ADBut...well, Reg, tomorrow the sun will come up again, and I'm pretty sure that whatever happens we won't have found Freedom, and there won't be a whole lot of Justice, and I'm damn sure we won't have found Truth. But it's just possible that I might get a hard-boiled egg.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
03c. 1981 ADOver the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
04c. 1981 ADThe universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is the Monday which on Friday night was a comfortably long way off. A dog's wet nose is not strictly speaking the worst of the bunch, but it has its own peculiar dreadfulness which connoisseurs of the ghastly and dog owners everywhere have come to know and dread. It's like having a small piece of defrosting liver pressed lovingly against you.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
05c. 1981 ADThere was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
06c. 1981 ADYou're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
08c. 1981 ADAnkh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
09c. 1981 ADEverywhere's been where it is ever since it was first put there. It's called geography.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
13c. 1981 ADWere you proposing to shoot these people in cold blood, sergeant?""Nossir. Just a warning shot inna head, sir.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
14c. 1981 ADThe universe is, instant by instant, recreated anew. There is in truth no past, only a memory of the past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, the only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
15c. 1981 ADNever trust a species that grins all the time. It’s up to something.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
16c. 1981 ADThe Captain of the Watch says if you're still in the City by sunrise he will personally have you buried alive.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
17c. 1981 ADYou do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
18c. 1981 ADBe one of the crowd? It went against everything a wizard stood for, and a wizard would not stand for anything if he could sit down for it, but even sitting down, you had to stand out.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
19c. 1981 ADThey were small, brightly coloured, happy little creatures who secreted some of the nastiest toxins in the world, which is why the job of looking after the large vivarium where they happily passed their days was given to first-year students, on the basis that if they got things wrong there wouldn't be too much education wasted.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
20c. 1981 ADIgor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
21c. 1981 ADIt was long after midnight and the stars looked damp and chilly; the air was full of the busy silence of the night, which is created by hundreds of small furry things treading very carefully in the hope of finding dinner while avoiding being the main course.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
23c. 1981 ADI know it’s not the right thing to say to a lady, miss, but you are sweating like a pig!""My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies merely glow…""Is that so? Well, miss, you are glowing like a pig!Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
24c. 1981 ADSomeone has to do it. It's all very well calling for eye of newt, but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great Crested? Which eye, anyway? Will tapioca do just as well? If we substitute egg white will the spell a) work b) fail or c) melt the bottom out of the cauldron? Goodie Whemper's curiosity about such things was huge and insatiable*.* Nearly insatiable. It was probably satiated in her last flight to test whether a broomstick could survive having its bristles pulled out one by one in mid-air. According to the small black raven she had trained as a flight recorder, the answer was almost certainly no.Terry Pratchett / quote ↗
