03UndatedThe way is not clear, and it is when you do not have clarity, when this is allowed, that you will finally have clarity.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
05UndatedYou will bring yourself the suffering you need to bring yourself so that you may awaken.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
06UndatedI don’t know where I’m going on this path. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. You had to be lost, before you could be found. These are the truths. You had to be confused, before you could find clarity; you had to suffer, before you could find peace. These were the only ways, life could happen. Of course you were confused before you found clarity. If you weren't confused, then you would already be clear. Of course you were lost before you were found. If you were already found, then you wouldn't be lost. Of course there would be suffering before peace. If there was already peace, then there wouldn't be suffering. One necessarily came before the other.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
08UndatedMaybe it’s something which can’t be defined,” Enso Roshi says. “Maybe it’s a question, to be lived.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
10UndatedLet whatever happens, be what needs to happen, so that I may awaken.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
11UndatedI loved Enso Roshi’s teachings. I loved learning about life. I loved life. It was a good thing to feel. I loved life, and I loved learning, and I was still learning. I was not, yet, done. At the end of our journeys, there would be an end to the journey. Maybe. If I was lucky. If providence shone down upon me gently. I would find love. I would find acceptance. Complete love. Complete acceptance. I would know, that the self, is an illusion. I would come to enlightenment, but that would also mean, there would be no ‘I’ there. I would realize that the ‘I’ was an illusion, all along, just like some great dream. This is what the wise sages say, the great teachings, the mystical teachings, not only from the East, but also from the West. The Gospel of Saint Thomas. Thomas Merton. Thomas, like I was Thomas, and also doubting, the main reasons I’d chosen the name. If nothing else, it was lovable, just as it is. My life. Even the parts I didn’t love, could I love them? The struggles. It was all part of the journey, and would I not look back fondly on this, at some time? Look at how arduous and sincere I’d been. Look at how worried I’d been. Look at how insecure I’d been. Look at how I’d struggled. Trying to find my way. Would I not look back upon myself, affectionately and fondly and with love?T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
13UndatedIt is the rub that polishes the jewel,” Enso Roshi says. “Nobody ever gets to nirvana without going through samsara. Nobody ever gets to heaven, without going through hell. The center of all things, the truth, is surrounded by demons.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
14UndatedTo love, and be loved, this is the greatest challenge that any of us face in our lives.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
17UndatedWhat was meaningful? What was meaningless? What did it mean, to amount to something? What type of life, was worth living? Was it better, to make a ton of money, and have a fucking goddamn Mercedes, or whatever the fuck kind of car it was, to be a lawyer with a ‘serious’ job, and to have ‘amounted to something,’ or was it better to just be a waiter, and work the evening shift, and have your days free to goof off with your roommates, your friends, to go to meditation, to take some time to reflect, and enjoy life, and to not always be in such a big goddamn rush to get somewhere?T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
18UndatedTo love one’s self, this is the greatest challenge we are all called to face.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
19UndatedTo hate the hate was just more hate; to reject the rejection was just more rejection; to judge the judging, just more judging.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
20UndatedYou had to break, to be unbroken. In the brokenness, I had found, that which was unbroken. That which was perfect, and beautiful, and complete.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗
21UndatedOrange Juice? Sure. Toast? Sure. One last time on the couch? Sure. Phone number? Sure. See you again? Oooh, absolutely. That was the lie I told. Probably not, that was the truth, that was that which went unspoken.T. Scott McLeod / quote ↗