01UndatedDon’t try and make me feel better, Alex. I hate you.”“I hate you, too.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
02UndatedLuis is right there.” I point to the corner of the yard, where my little brother is the centre of attention doing imitations of barnyard animals. I have yet to inform him that talent isn’t as much of a chick magnet when you get into junior high.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
03UndatedWhoa, who was that?”“Madison Stone,” Kiara mutters.“Introduce me to her.”“Why?”Because I know it’ll annoy the shit out of you.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
04UndatedI like that girl more than I can remember likin’ anything in my life. I’m not about to give her up. I’ll start carin’ about what other people think when I’m six feet under.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
06UndatedThree things Marco taught me today race through my mind: boys will lie to your face just to have sex with you, don’t trust any boy who says I love you, and never date a boy who lives on the south side of Fairfield.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
07UndatedListen, I didn’t ask for a face and body girls find attractive. But thanks to the mixture of my parents’ DNA, I’ve got them, and I’m not ashamed to use ’em.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
09UndatedThe Professor doesn’t have a problem being called Dick? If my name was Richard, I’d go by Richard or Rich . . . not Dick. Hell, I’d even settle for being called Chard.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
10UndatedI lead Paco through the house. We pass Shelley in the family room looking at some magazine. "Shelley, this is Paco. He's Alex's friend. Paco, this is my sister, Shelley."At the mention of Alex's name, Shelley gives a happy squeal."Hey, Shelley," Paco says.Shelley smiles wide."Shell-bell, I need you to do me a favor." Shelley bobs her head in response as I whisper, "I need you to keep Mom occupied while I talk to Paco."Shelley grins, and I know my sister will come through for me.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
11UndatedI wish I could help you" I whisper.You are," he murmurs against my knee. "just dont leave me, okay? Everyone leaves me.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
12UndatedAre you going to dance with me tonight?" I ask."Hell, yeah.""Colin never wanted to dance with me.""I'm not Colin, querida, and never will be.""Good. I've got you, Alex. I realize it's all I need and I'm ready to share it with the world."Inside the club, Alex immediately heads for the dance floor with me. I ignore the gawking stares from Fairfield students from my side of town as I pull Alex close to me and we move as one to the beat.We move together as if we've been a couple forever, every movement in sync with each other. For the first time I'm not afraid of what people think of me and Alex together. Next year, in college, it won't matter who came from what side of town.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
13UndatedWant some?" he asks, pointing to his dinner.Maybe eating will calm my nerves. "What iSimone Elkeles / quote ↗
14UndatedDo you think about making love with me?"I lie awake most nights, fantasizing about sleeping next to her ... loving her. "Right now, muneca, makin' love to you is the only thing on my mind.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
15UndatedThe urge to jump into his arms and feel the warmth of them surrounding me is so powerful, I wonder if it's medically possible to be addicted to another human being.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
16UndatedWhy shouldn't I be introspective? We dont' make sense.""Neither do Chocolate and Peanut Butter, but it somehow works." He says "Somehow the mixture of two things is genius.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
17UndatedYou're stressing too much about what might be. Do something to take your mind off thinking about what might never happen.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
19UndatedSnakes don't have fuckin' legs, so how was I supposed to think there'd be one hidin' in the face of a damn rock that's ten feet below the summit?Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
20UndatedI'll never let it happen. I'll do everything in my power to keep my sister at home."I don't want to have a civilized discussion. My parents want to send my sister to a facility behind my back and my head feels like it's about to split open. Leave me alone, okay?"Something is sticking out of my pocket. It's Alex's bandanna. Isabel isn't a friend, yet she helped me. And Alex, a boy who cared about me last night more than my own boyfriend did, acted as my hero and is urging me to be real. Do I even know how to be real?I clutch the bandanna to my chest.And I allow myself to cry.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
21UndatedShelley, you think she'll take me back?" Alex asks her, his hair dangerously close to her fingers. She doesn't pull his hair . . . just pats his head gently. I feel the tears running down my cheeks at full speed."Yeah!" Shelley yells with a goofy, gummy grin. She looks happier and more content than she's been in a long time. Both of my favorite people are with me right here; what more could I ask for?Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
22UndatedI catch sight of Luis with one of my bandannas on his head and my gut tightens. I yank it off him. "Don't ever touch this, Luis.""Why not?" he asks, his deep brown eyes all innocent.To Luis, it's a bandanna. To me, it's a symbol of what is and will never be. How the hell am I supposed to explain it to an eleven-year-old kid? He knows what I am. It's no secret the bandanna has the Latino Blood colors on it. Payback and revenge got me in and now there's no way out. But I'll die before I let one of my brothers get sucked in.I ball the bandanna in my fist. "Luis, don't touch my shit. Especially my Blood stuff.""I like red and black."That's the last thing I need to hear. "If I ever catch you wearin' it again, you'll be sportin' black and blue," I tell him. "Got it, little brother?"He shrugs. "Yeah. I got it.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
23UndatedForget about that and kiss me," I say.I weave my hands in her hair. She wraps her arms around my neck as I trace the valley between her lips with my tongue. Parting her lips, I deepen the kiss. It's like a tango, first moving slow and rhythmic and then, when we're both panting and our tongues collide, the kiss turns into a hot, fast dance I never want to end. Carmen's kisses may have been hot, but Brittany's are more sensual, sexy, and extremely addictive.We're still in the car, but it's cramped and the front seats don't give us enough room. Before I know it, we've moved to the backseat. Still not ideal, but I hardly notice.I'm so getting into her moans and kisses and hands in my hair. And the smell of vanilla cookies. I'm not going to push her too far tonight. But without thinking, my hand slowly moves up her bare thigh."It feels so good," she says breathlessly.I lean her back while my hands explore on their own. My lips caress the hollow of her neck as I ease down the strap to her dress and bra. In response, she unbuttons my shirt. When it's open, her fingers roam over my chest and shoulders, searing my skin."You're . . . perfect," sheSimone Elkeles / quote ↗
24UndatedI'm willing to find out what this thing is going on between us. Are you?""If we weren't outside," he says, "I'd show you--"I cut him off by grabbing the thick hair at the base of his neck and pulling that gorgeous head of his down. If we can't exactly have privacy right now, I'll settle for being real. Besides, everyone who we need to keep this a secret from is in school.Alex keeps his hands at his side, but when I part my lips, he groans against my mouth and his wrench drops to the ground with a loud clink.His strong hands wrap around me, making me feel protected. His velvet tongue mingles with mine, creating an unfamiliar melting sensation deep within my body. This is more than making out, it's . . . well, it feels like a lot more.His hands never stop moving; one circles my back while the other plays with my hair.Alex isn't the only one exploring. My hands are roving all over him, feeling his muscles tense beneath my hands and heightening my awareness of him. I touch his jaw and the roughness of a day's growth scratches my skinSimone Elkeles / quote ↗
