01UndatedAlex and Carlos—the tag team from hell. They’re the last people I need shit from right now. If they decide to trail me, too, I’ll have an entire entourage.“I’m fine.”“Then sit up and talk to us.”“Okay, in that case I’m not fine. Go away.” I moan. “Unless you want me to puke all over you.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
04UndatedNobody really knows herExcept the chosen fewHer secrets are kept hiddenBehind that sun-kissed hue.If I reach out to touch herShe’ll just run awayMy Forever and AlwaysWill have to wait another day.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
05UndatedYou know those giant stuffed-animal prizes at the carnival? The kind practically nobody wins, except the lucky few? I've never won one.""Yeah. I've never won one, either.""Alex was my giant prize. I hated you for taking him away," she admits.I shrug. "Yeah, well, stop hating me. I don't have him, either.""I don't hate you anymore," she says. "I've moved on."I swallow and then say, "Me, too."Carmen chuckles. Then, just as she walks out of the room, I hear her mumble, "Alex sure as hell hasn't.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
06UndatedOur lie is like a cancer that's spread to every single area of our lives.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
07UndatedTofu tacos are not Mexican. I think putting tofu on anything and calling it Mexican is an insult to my people.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
08UndatedDoing something positive will help turn your mood around. When you smile, your body relaxes. When you experience human touch and interaction, it eases tension in your body.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
09UndatedAre you following me?" she asks, but doesn't meet my gaze."Yeah," I say."Why?"I give her the only honest and true answer I have. "You're where I want to be.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
10UndatedSay it again,” he says.“That whole drawn-out speech?” I remember something about a solar system, but I’m too light-headed to recite the entire thing all over again.He steps closer. “No. The part about you fallin’ for me.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
11UndatedYou're an asshole.""And you're a bitch," he says. "A bitch with a kick-ass smile and eyes that can seriously screw with a guy's head.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
12UndatedHey, Shell-bell," I say, leaning over her and wiping her face with a napkin. "It's the first day of school. Wish me luck."Shelley holds jerky arms out and gives me a lopsided smile. I love that smile."You want to give me a hug?" I ask her, knowing she does. The doctors always tell us the more interaction Shelley gets, the better off she'll be.Shelley nods. I fold myself in her arms, careful to keep her hands away from my hair. When I straighten, my mom gasps. It sounds to me like a referee's whistle, halting my life. "Brit, you can't go to school like that.""Like what?"She shakes her head and sighs in frustration. "Look at your sSimone Elkeles / quote ↗
13UndatedYou have games on there?" he asks."Yeah," I answer for her. "She's become a checkers fanatic. Shelley, show him how it works."While Shelley slowly taps the screen with her knuckles, Alex watches, seemingly fascinated.When the checkers screen comes up, Shelley nudges Alex's hand."You go first," he says.She shakes her head."She wants you to go first," I tell him."Cool." He taps the screen.I watch, getting all mushy inside, as this tough guy plays quietly with my big sister."Do you mind if I make a snack for her?" I say, desperate to leave the room."Nah, go ahead," he says, his concentration on the game."You don't have to let her win," I say before leaving. "She can hold her own in checkers.""Uh, thanks for the vote of confidence, but I am tryin' to win," Alex says. He has a genuine grin on his face, without trying to act cocky or cool.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
14UndatedShelley," I say. "You should've let him win. You know, to be polite." Shelley's response is a shake of her head. Applesauce drips on her chin. "That's the way it's going to be, huh?" I say, hoping the scene doesn't gross Alex out. Maybe I'm testing him, to see if he can handle a glimpse of my home life. If so, he's passing. "Wait until Alex leaves. I'll show you who the checkers champion is."My sister smiles that sweet, crooked smile of hers. It's like a thousand words put into one expression. For a moment I forget Alex is still watching me. It's so weird having him inside my life and my house. He doesn't belong, yet he doesn't seem to mind being here.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
15UndatedDo you ever lose the ego?” Westford asks me.“Yeah.” When his daughter kisses me, my ego flies out the window.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
16UndatedI want to make sure Kiara’s got a boyfriend who has more to offer than a hot bod and a face that could make angels weep.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
17UndatedI don't know why or when I started falling for you, Alex. But I did. Ever since I almost ran over your motorcycle that first day of school I haven't been able to stop thinking about what it would be like if you and I got together. And that kiss ... God, I swear I never experienced anything like that in my life. It did mean something. If the solar system didn't tilt then, it never will. I know it's crazy because we're so different. And if anything happens between us I don't want people at school to know. Not that you'll agree to have a secret relationship with me, but I at least have to find out if it's possible. I broke up with Colin, who I had a very public relationship with and I'm ready for something private. Private and real. I know I'm babbling like an idiot, but if you don't say something soon or give me a hint of what you're thinking then I'll--""Say it again," he says."That whole drawn-out speech?" I remember something about a solar system, but I'm too light-headed to recite the entire thing all over again.He steps closer. "No. The part about you fallin' for me."My eyes cling to his. "I think about you all the time, Alex. And I really, really want to kiss you again."The sides of his mouth turn up.Unable to face him, I look at the ground. "Don't make fun of me." I can take anything but that right abouSimone Elkeles / quote ↗
18UndatedHow was the kiss with Alex?""Nice," I say, thinking about how sensual it was. "Actually, Isabel, it was more than nice. It was fucking incredible."Isabel starts laughing, and I laugh right along with her this time.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
19UndatedYou call that a kiss?""Yep."Okay, so I'm in shock the girl put my hand on her creamy cheek. Damn, you'd think I was on drugs by the way my body reacted.She had me totally under her spell a minute ago. Then the pretty witch turned my game around so she was the one with the upper hand.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
20UndatedAfter we've been dancing awhile and need a breather, we walk off the dance floor. I whip out my cell and say, "Pose for me."The first picture I take is of him trying to pose like a cool bad boy. It makes me laugh. I take another one before he can strike a pose this time."Let's take one of the both of us," he says, pulling me close. I press my cheek against his while he takes my cell and puts it as far away as he can reach, then freezes this perfect moment with a click. After the picture is taken, he pulls me into his arms and kisses me.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
21UndatedThis girl of my dreams, this girl who is more like me than anyone I've ever met, wants to kiss me.I take over control as soon as she tilts her head. Our lips touch for the briefest moment before I lace my fingers in her hair and keep kissing her soft and gentle. I cup her cheek in my palm, feeling her baby-soft skin against my rough fingers. My body urges me to take advantage of the situation, but my brain (the one inside my head) keeps me in check.A satisfied sigh escapes Brittany's mouth, as if she's content to stay in my arms forever.I brush the tip of my tongue against her lips, enticing her to open her mouth. She tentatively meets my tongue with her own. Our mouths and tongues mingle in a slow, erotic dance until the sound of the front door opening makes her jerkSimone Elkeles / quote ↗
22UndatedMakin' mistakes ain't a crime, you know. What's the use of having a reputation if you can't ruin it every now and then?Simone Elkeles / quote ↗
24UndatedYou quit? I thought you said it was too dangerous to quit, Alex. You said people who try to get out die.""I almost did. If it weren't for Gary Frankel, I probably wouldn't have made it. . . .""Gary Frankel?" The nicest, geekiest guy in school? For the first time I scan Alex's face and see a faint, new scar above his eye and nasty ones by his ear and neck. "Oh, God! W-what did they d-do to you?"He takes my hand and places it on his chest. His eyes are intense and dark, like they were the first time I noticed him in the parking lot that first day of school senior year. "It took me a long time to realize I needed to fix everything The choices I made. The gang. Bein' beaten to within an inch of my life and branded like cattle was nothin' compared to losin' you. If I could take back every word I said in the hospital, I would. I thought if I pushed you away, I'd be protectin' you from what happened to Paco and my dad." He looks up and his eyes pierce mine. "I'll never push you away again, Brittany. Ever. I swear."Beaten? Branded? I'm feeling sick to my stomach and tears sting my eyes."Shh." He puts his arms around me, rubbing his hands across my back. "It's all right. I'm okay," he chants over and over again, his voice catching.Simone Elkeles / quote ↗