01c. 1974 ADI embrace the label of bad feminist because I am human. I am messy. I’m not trying to be an example. I am not trying to be perfect. I am not trying to say I have all the answers. I am not trying to say I’m right. I am just trying—trying to support what I believe in, trying to do some good in this world, trying to make some noise with my writing while also being myself.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
02c. 1974 ADA man has never told me he likes me. Like is more interesting than love.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
03c. 1974 ADLife, apparently, requires a trigger warning.This is the uncomfortable truth: everything is a trigger for someone. There are things you cannot tell just by looking at someone.We all have history. You can think you're over your history. You can think the past is the past. And then something happens, often innocuous, that shows you how far you are from over it. The past is always with you. Some people want to be protected from this truth.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
04c. 1974 ADI knew I was in love with The Hunger Games when I did not want to get off the treadmillRoxane Gay / quote ↗
05c. 1974 ADLove your friends' kids even if you don't want or like children. Just do it.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
06c. 1974 ADWe hold all people to unspoken rules about who and how they should be, how they should think, and what the should say. We say we hate stereotypes but take issue when people deviate from those stereotypes.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
07c. 1974 ADWe all have the capacity to do hurtful things, but we differ from one another in terms of scale-how much we can hurt others, how far we will go to make a statement about our beliefs, how remorseful we might feel in the aftermath of committing a terrible act.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
08c. 1974 ADMany comedians are very proud of themselves for saying the things others are supposedly afraid to say. They are at the forefront of this culture of entitlement where we get to do anything, think anything, and say anything.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
10c. 1974 ADI was too smart and that made people uncomfortable--most folks where we've lived our whole lives don't trust too much intelligence in a woman. There is also the problem of my eyes--they don't hide anything. If I don't care for a person, my eyes make it plain. I don't care for most. Folks are generally comfortable with the small lies they tell each other. They don't know what to do with someone like me, who mostly doesn't bother with small lies.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
11c. 1974 AD... just one more reminder that the rules are always different for girls, no matter who they are and no matter what they do.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
12c. 1974 ADThis tension-the idea that there is a right way to be a woman, a right way to be the most essential woman- is ongoing and pervasive.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
13c. 1974 ADDespite what people think based on my opinion writing, I very much like men. They're interesting to me, and I mostly wish they would be better about how they treat women so I wouldn't have to call them out so often.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
14c. 1974 ADSometimes, when you least expect it, you become the girl in the woods. You lose your name because another one is forced on you. You think you are alone until you find books about girls like you. Salvation is certainly among the reasons I read. Reading and writing have always pulled me out of the darkest experiences in my life. Stories have given me place in which to lose myself. They have allowed me to remember. They have allowed me to forget. They have allowed me to imagine different endings and better possible worlds.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
16c. 1974 ADSome experiences are universal. A girl is a girl whether she lives in West Omaha or Sweet Valley. Books are often far more than books.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
17c. 1974 ADI hate when people say something is not their job or that something isn't possible. We all say these things, sure, but some people actually believe they don't have to work beyond what is written in their job description or that they don't have to try to reach those who seemingly cannot be reached.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
18c. 1974 ADYou are the joy in my life. I am a mess but I will be the joy in yours … When you touch me, you feel through me, through the ugliness beneath my skin, you make me feel, you hold me together, you push my skin back into its proper place. When you see me next, I will be wearing your ring on my left finger. I will say yes. You will hear me.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
19c. 1974 ADShe didn't care if he was telling the truth. Milly felt nothing but she was very good at making men think otherwise. Sometimes, she nearly convinced herself.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
20c. 1974 ADMore troubling than this oddly timed debate about birth control is the vehemence with which women need to justify or explain why they take birth control—health reasons, to regulate periods, you know, as if there's anything wrong with taking birth control simply because you want to have sex without that sex resulting in pregnancy.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
21c. 1974 ADI often tell my students that fiction is about desire in one way or another. The older I get, the more I understand that life is generally the pursuit of desires. We want and want and oh how we want. We hunger.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
22c. 1974 ADI get angry when women disavow feminism and shun the feminist label but say they support all the advances born of feminism because I see a disconnect that does not need to be there.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
23c. 1974 ADI want characters to do bad things and get away with their misdeeds. I want characters to think ugly thoughts and make ugly decisions. I want characters to make mistakes and put themselves first without apologizing for it.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
24c. 1974 ADThe United States as we know it was founded on the principle of inalienable rights, this idea that some rights are so sacrosanct not even a government can take them away. Of course, this country’s founding fathers were only thinking of wealthy white men when they codified this principle, but still, it’s a nice idea, that there are some freedoms that cannot be taken away.What this debate shows us is that even in this day and age, the rights of women are not inalienable. Our rights can be and are, with alarming regularity, stripped away.Roxane Gay / quote ↗
