01c. 1959 ADI had a blind date with a dentist — and he told me to come back in six months.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
02c. 1959 ADPeople say it is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
03c. 1959 ADI said, "Is there!" I told him there is a Mafia school where they teach them math — if Johnny has ten fingers and they cut off two, how many does he have left?Joan Rivers / quote ↗
04c. 1959 ADSomehow, some way, every person in the arts has to find an accommodation with disappointment and embarrassment. They are the pollen in the air we breathe.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
05c. 1959 ADIt gathers emotionally inside you, in a strange way a by-product of struggle, of a willingness to do anything, try anything, expose yourself to anything — staying in motion because sooner or later those ripples will cause change.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
06c. 1959 ADLaughing made me feel safe. I was not going to be enveloped by the seediness that coated this world like dust.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
07c. 1959 ADWhen you begin to losing your audience, do not get loud; get quiet, make them find you and come back to you.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
08c. 1959 ADI am driven. Being driven is my energy source. It is my fun.…I believe that where there is action, there is movement, and those ripples will eventually produce something positive.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
09c. 1959 ADThe revelation that personal truth can be the foundation of comedy, that outrageousness can be cleansing and healthy…Joan Rivers / quote ↗
10c. 1959 ADThe act of creation fascinates me. You can only sit with blank page and wait. You cannot press a button, cannot program it.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
11c. 1959 ADEverything comes out of smoke and mist and nothingness, a mystical happening…Joan Rivers / quote ↗
12c. 1959 ADLiked" was the kiss of death. "Loved" or "hated" interested him. At least the performer had aroused emotion.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
13c. 1959 ADMaybe that is why in my comedy I try and puncture the hypocrisy all around us, why it is almost a crusade with me to strip life down to what really is true.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
14c. 1959 AD…but I think comedy is more aggressive than that. It is a medium for revenge. We can deflate and punish the pomposity and the rejection which hurt us. Comedy is power.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
15c. 1959 AD…you either do or do not have a comedy mind, whatever that is, maybe a heightened sense of the ridiculous and the absurdity of life…We are all crazy and crazed.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
16c. 1959 ADI have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't makeit through one door, I'll go through another door -- or I'llmake a door. Something terrific will come no matter how darkthe present.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
17c. 1959 ADA man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
18c. 1959 ADI hate McDonald's. I don't want to order my dinner by yelling into a clown's mouth. If I want my face in a clown's mouth, I'll tongue kiss Glenn Beck.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
19c. 1959 ADI do a lot of lectures on survival. I always say you can't change what happened, so have a little wallow, feel very sorry for yourself, and then get up and move forward. You can't change what happened.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
20c. 1959 ADShe doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
21c. 1959 ADIt's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
23c. 1959 ADI hate Billings Montana. They have a fashion show at Sears Roebuck - no models. You open a catalog and point.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
24c. 1959 ADThank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit the stores are open late and thanks to television you can shop in bed.Joan Rivers / quote ↗
