01UndatedSuicide. It's something I've been thinking about. Not too seriously, but I have been thinking about it.” That's the note. Word for word. And I know it's word for word because I wrote it dozens of times before delivering it. I'd write it, throw it away, write it, crumple it up, throw it away.But why was I writing it to begin with? I asked myself that question every time I printed the words onto a new sheet of paper. Why was I writing this note? It was a lie. I hadn't been thinking about it. Not really. Not in detail. The thought would come into my head and I'd push it away.But I pushed it away a lot.Jay Asher / quote ↗
02UndatedRight then, in that office, with the realization that no one knew the truth about my life, my thoughts about the world were shaken. Like driving along a bumpy road and losing control of the steering wheel, tossing you—just a tad—off the road. The wheels kick up some dirt, but you’re able to pull it back. Yet no matter how tightly you grip the wheel, no matter how hard you try to drive straight, something keeps jerking you to the side. You have so little control over anything anymore. And at some point, the struggle becomes too much—too tiring—and you consider letting go. Allowing tragedy . . . or whatever . . . to happen.Jay Asher / quote ↗
03UndatedI decided to find out how people at school might react if one of the students never came back.Jay Asher / quote ↗
04UndatedWhat if you weren't the person I hoped you were?That, more than anything, would have hurt the most.Jay Asher / quote ↗
05UndatedThat's what I love about poetry. The more abstract, the better. The stuff where you're not sure what the poet's talking about. You may have an idea, but you can't be sure. Not a hundred percent. Each word, specifically chosen, could have a million different meanings.Jay Asher / quote ↗
07UndatedPut meunderneath God's sky and know medon't just look at me with your eyesTake awaythis mask of flesh and bone andsee me for my soulaloneJay Asher / quote ↗
08UndatedBut you can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself anymore. You can't decide to turn off the noise in your head.Jay Asher / quote ↗
09UndatedWe almost bumped into each other. But your eyes were down so you didn't know it was me. And together we said it. "I'm sorry."Then you looked up. You saw me. And there, in your eyes, what was it? Sadness? Pain? You moved around and tried pushing your hair away from your face. Your fingernails were painted dark blue. I watched you walk down the long stretch of hallway. I stood there and watched you disappear. Forever.Jay Asher / quote ↗
10UndatedSometimes, there's no one around to tell you to be quiet... to be very, very quiet. Sometimes you need to be quiet when you're all alone.Jay Asher / quote ↗
11UndatedI simply wanted a kiss. I was a freshman girl who had never been kissed. Never. But I liked the boy, he liked me, and I was going to kiss him. That's the story, the whole story, right there.Jay Asher / quote ↗
12UndatedI was so anxious about what kind of kiss it would be-because my friends back home described so many types-and it turned out to be the beautiful kind. You didn't shove your tongue down my throat. You didn't grab my butt. We just held our lips together...and kissed.Jay Asher / quote ↗
13UndatedUnanswered? I would've answered any question, Hannah. But you never asked.Jay Asher / quote ↗
14UndatedBut now it’s too late.And that’s why, right at this moment, I feel so much hate. Toward myself. I deserve to be on this list. Because if I hadn’t been so afraid of everyone else, I might have told Hannah that someone cared. And Hannah might still be alive.I pull my gaze back from the neon sign.Jay Asher / quote ↗
15UndatedSierra, it's Christmastime. Put a stupid mistletoe over his head and kiss him already!Jay Asher / quote ↗
16UndatedEmma:“He broke your heart! How can you call it love when hehurt you so badly?”Kellan:“It was lovebecause it was worth it.Jay Asher / quote ↗
18UndatedOr deep down, maybe there was more. Maybe I wanted someone to figure out who wrote the note and secretly come to my rescue.Maybe. I don’t know. But I was careful never to give myself away.Jay Asher / quote ↗
19UndatedYou okay?”It’s a residential street, but it’s not the street of the party.I shake my head no.“Are you going to be okay?” he asks.I lean back, resting my head against the seat, and close my eyes. “I miss her.Jay Asher / quote ↗
21UndatedI think there's always room for humor, especially when you're talking about really serious issues.Jay Asher / quote ↗
22UndatedI thought I was going to be known for my humor. But then I had an idea for a story, which was absolutely not humorous. But, of course, that's the one that sells and becomes big.Jay Asher / quote ↗
23UndatedI had written a book that dealt with really serious issues. Was anybody going to want to read a Christmas love story from me?Jay Asher / quote ↗
24UndatedIt seems like whenever a big newspaper or TV show talks about teen literature, they focus on dark books or vampire books. It's kind of this cliche. It seems like the only time adults pay attention is with that angle.Jay Asher / quote ↗