01c. 1976 ADWhen we told our guide that we didn't want to go to all the tourist places he took us instead to the places where they take tourists who say that they don't want to go to tourist places. These places are, of course, full of tourists.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
02c. 1976 ADTrouble with a long journey like this,' continued the Captain, 'is that you end up just talking to yourself a lot, which gets terribly boring because half the time you know what you’re going to say next.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
03c. 1976 ADHe was alone with his thoughts. They were extremely unpleasant thoughts and he would rather have had a chaperon.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
04c. 1976 ADIf everyone knew exactly what I was going to say, then there would be no point in my saying it, would there?Douglas Adams / quote ↗
05c. 1976 ADI have terrible periods of lack of confidence. I just don't believe I can do it and no evidence to the contrary will sway me from that view.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
06c. 1976 ADWhen the hunt for new sources of energy had at one point got particularly frantic, one bright young chap suddenly spotted that one place which had never used up all its available energy was - the past. And with the sudden rush of blood to the head that such insights tend to induce, he invented a way of mining it that very same night, and within a year huge tracts of the past were being drained of all their energy and simply wasting away. Those who claimed that the past should be left unspoilt were accused of indulgingin an extremely expensive form of sentimentality.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
07c. 1976 ADThe major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
08c. 1976 ADThe quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
09c. 1976 ADYou come to me for advice, but you can't cope with anything you don't recognize. Hmmm. So we'll have to tell you something you already know but make it sound like news, eh Well, business as usual , I suppose.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
10c. 1976 ADIt's the story of my life. You see, the quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead. Now, as you look through this document you'll see that I've underlined all the major decisions I ever made to make the stand out. They're all indexed and cross-referenced. See? All I can suggest is that if you take decisions that are exactly opposite to the sort of decisions that I've taken, then maybe you won't finish up at the end of your life" --she paused, and filled her lungs for a good should--"in a smelly old cave like this!Douglas Adams / quote ↗
11c. 1976 ADThere was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
12c. 1976 ADHe was following the Earth through its days, drifting with the rhythms of its myriad pulses, seeping through the webs of its life, swelling with its tides, turning with its weight.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
13c. 1976 ADDon't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
14c. 1976 ADBypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there, and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
15c. 1976 ADDon't blame you," said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
17c. 1976 ADThe longest and most destructive party ever held is now into its fourth generation and still no one shows any signs of leaving. Somebody did once look at his watch, but that was eleven years ago now, and there has been no follow up.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
19c. 1976 ADWhen one day an expedition was sent to the spatial coordinates that Voojagig had claimed for the planet they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
20c. 1976 ADHowl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl gargle gargle howl gargle gargle gargle howl slurrp uuuurgh should have a good time. Message repeats.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
21c. 1976 ADZaphod had never heard of this. He believed that he had heard of all the fun things in the Galaxy, so he assumed that the Total Perspective Vortex was not fun.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
22c. 1976 ADThe last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
23c. 1976 ADMarvin: Look, look, no, just think. They left me - an ordinary, menial robot - to stop you - a gigantic, heavy-duty battle machine - whilst they ran off to save themselves... What do you think they would leave me with? Frogstar Robot: Well, er, something pretty damn devastating I would expect. Marvin: Expect? Oh yes, expect. I'll tell you what they gave me to protect myself with, shall I? Frogstar Robot: Yes all right. Marvin: Nothing. Frogstar Robot: What? Marvin: Nothing at all. Not an electronic sausage. Frogstar Robot: Well, doesn't that just take the biscuit!Douglas Adams / quote ↗
24c. 1976 ADNow logic is a wonderful thing but it has, as the process of evolution discovered, certain drawbacks. Anything that thinks logically can be fooled by something else which thinks at least as logically as it does.Douglas Adams / quote ↗
