02c. 1943 ADYour pain and anger will pass, but the guilt would remain with you for always.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
03c. 1943 ADOnly half a page left now. Shall I fill it with 'I love you, I love you'-- like father's page of cats on the mat? No. Even a broken heart doesn't warrant a waste of good paper.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
04c. 1943 ADI have really sinned. I am going to pause now, and sit here on the mound repenting in deepest shame...Dodie Smith / quote ↗
06c. 1943 ADFather says hot water can be as stimulating as an alcoholic drink and though I never come by one...I can well believe it.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
07c. 1943 ADHe laughed a little, in an odd, nervous kind of way. "Because if I don't get going soon, the whole impetus may die--and if that happens, well, I really shall consider a long, restful plunge into insanity. Sometimes the abyss yawns very attractively.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
08c. 1943 AD...[I]f I don't get going soon, the whole impetus may die---and if that happens, well, I really shall consider a long, restful plunge into insanity. Sometimes the abyss yawns very attractively.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
10c. 1943 ADEverything in the least connected with him has value for me; if someone even mentions his name it is like a little present to me--and I long to mention it myself, I start subjects leading up to it, and then feel myself going red. I keep swearing to myself not to speak of him again- and then an opportunity occurs and I jump at it.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
11c. 1943 AD...[P]erhaps it is the loving that counts, not the being loved in return---that perhaps true loving can never know anything but happiness.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
12c. 1943 ADOnce I really looked at the sky, I wanted to go on looking; it seemed to draw me towards it and make me listen hard, though there was nothing to listen to, not so much as a twig was stirring.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
14c. 1943 ADThat little glow of comfort lasted me right through the evening but was gone when I woke up next morning. Wakings are the worst times--almost before my eyes are open a great weight seems to roll on to my heart.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
15c. 1943 ADAnd what I thought most about was luxury. I had never realised before that it is more than just having things; it makes the very air feel different. And I felt different, breathing the air: relaxed, lazy, still sad but with the edge taken off the sadness. Perhaps the effect wears off in time, or perhaps you don't notice it if you are born to it, but it does seem to me that the climate of richness must always be a little dulling to the senses. Perhaps it takes the edge off joy as well as off sorrow.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
17c. 1943 ADWhen I read a book, I put in all the imagination I can, so that it is almost like writing the book as well as reading it - or rather, it is like living it. It makes reading so much more excitingDodie Smith / quote ↗
18c. 1943 ADWhen I imagine changing places with her I get the feeling I do on finishing a novel with a brick-wall happy ending---I mean the kind of ending when you never think any more about the characters.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
19c. 1943 ADI have found that sitting in a place where you have never sat before can be inspiring.Dodie Smith / quote ↗
20c. 1943 ADIf someone even mentions his name it is like a little present to me - and I long to mention it myself. I start subjects leading up to it, and then I feel myself going red. I keep swearing to myself not to speak to him again - and then an opportunity occurs and I jump at it!Dodie Smith / quote ↗
