01c. 1973 ADThe digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.Demetri Martin / quote ↗
02c. 1973 ADI'd love to win trophies, be in movies, have a body of work I'm proud of and find a way to enjoy it along the way. Success is probably a more of a complicated thing than that.Demetri Martin / quote ↗
03c. 1973 ADI like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar!Demetri Martin / quote ↗
04c. 1973 ADI wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'Demetri Martin / quote ↗
07c. 1973 ADI think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.Demetri Martin / quote ↗
08c. 1973 ADStand-up is like a row boat: it's fun and romantic when you're choosing to do it. But if you have no other choice than to be in a row boat it's not as enjoyable that's survival.Demetri Martin / quote ↗
09c. 1973 ADI like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'Demetri Martin / quote ↗
11c. 1973 ADBut I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.Demetri Martin / quote ↗
